2nd meeting...

I'm baaaaaack...after having some yummy waffles on this beautiful, cool, crisp morning. 
I went to my second AA meeting this morning in Troy at the Methodist church.  I wonder...Can you become addicted to going to AA meetings?  Is this a bad thing??  I don't know the answer to that...but I'm going to assume that going to meetings, however often, is never bad. 
I dont' believe that I've found "the" meeting, yet.   I want to have a "home" meeting and a concrete sponsor, but for the time-being, I'm just going to experiment with different meetings in the area. 
Today, in this meeting we had Al-anon members meeting with us.  It was nice to hear the other side of it. I hope that Tony will go to Al-anon someday.  I think it would benefit him greatly.  I can't imagine what it's like to not have this alcoholic way of thinking.  I bet it's pretty hard to understand why an alcoholic does what they do.  Shit...the alcoholic doesn't even know! 
We also talked about serenity and the peace within ourselves.  There's a lot of negative chatter going on in our heads at any given moment.  It's something that we have to work on every day.  Calm that chatter.  It will only bring you down.  We, all, need to find ways to be comfortable with the peace and serenity. 
I met a woman today that sounded a lot like me.  She was certain that she could go sober on her own. 
Our lives had not been THAT bad, we hadn't done things that were THAT terrible, we hadn't been drinking for THAT long, we hadn't been drinking THAT much....uh-huh....riiiiiiiight.  That's a bunch of B.S. and we're both realizing that now. 
"My life had not been THAT bad." 
- Is that why your husband and best friend are refusing to talk to you?
- Is that why your tip-toeing around your own house, now?
- Is that why your husband was crying in pain the last few nights?
- Is that why your attending therapy sessions?
"I hadn't done things that were THAT terrible."
- You could've gotten a DUI, and were very close to getting one...TWICE.
- You drove drunk.
- You cheated on our husband.
- You hurt your friends and family with harsh words.
- You were hungover while playing the piano at church
- You backed out of a service 5 minutes before it started.
- You separated from your husband for almost a year.
(I could go on and on and on.)
"I haven't been drinking for THAT long."
- It doesn't matter how LONG you've been drinking, it's whether or not you can stop, and whether or not your life has been massively been affected by drinking.
"I hadn't been drinking THAT much."
- It doesn't matter how MUCH you were drinking or the amount it took to get drunk. Again...it's whether or not you have the ability to stop, and the consequences from drinking are overcoming your life.

Therefore, without a doubt, I have to say "Hi. My name is Erica, and I'm an alcoholic."

I never thought I would have to say those words, but I'm glad that I can.
And it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.